It's coming closer and it's somewhat suffocating?

I haven't had to deal with "real" people (/shot. orz) in a while and I'm nervous. I'm kind of take things to an upper scale without realizing it and stress myself out like crazy. I don't mean to, but I over think WAY, WAY too much for my own good. I'm just really nervous for college. It's stupid. I'm 18 and should be able to make my own decisions and all that lovely stuff, but I'm not exactly the most mature person around. I just want to breathe. I'm afraid for change. It's really dumb. There's nothing to be afraid about, but like what Green Tea said (Gawd, the food names make this so obvious.) I'm "timid." I don't want to hurt others by getting what I want. I want to commit to caring about them, but in all honesty, I deserve to give myself some commitment to my own happiness and emotions instead of throwing it in a dark corner somewhere and leave it there until it crawls back up on me. I always told myself I'm not a doormat, but being honest with myself, I never stand up for myself. I don't know why I don't give myself credit. I'm afraid of the people I'll meet. I'm afraid of the people I'll get close to. I'm just a ball of stress yarn right now. I'm stable when I need to be, but I'll break down as soon as no one's there to look.
[2011/07/20 23:56 ] | Category: None | Comments(0) | Trackbacks(0) | page top
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