The fangirl and the dream.
No matter how close we may seem when we talk, there really always is this invisible distance around us. It's not noticeable to me until we're not talking. Berry's the dream and idol I thought I could never reach. Maybe, I never will. I want to try harder so badly, but I'm quick to give up because I know I'm not great. My attempts are always failures and I know people say it only gets better with practice, but I've always been frustrated at failure and imperfection. I guess I've kind of lived with an inferiority complex and it makes me hate myself. I can't accomplish anything like this, even if it's just for fun and is a hobby. I'd like to be better at it. It's hard to get back up when people knock you down as soon as you start to think you've made progress. I can get better at what I'm already more decent at, but I'd like to attain the dream one day too. I don't want to stay just a fangirl forever. I want to stand proudly in the same light. It might be weird to say, but it's true. I should try harder...but no matter how resolved I am, I knock myself down sooner or later. Please stop loving the "dream." It's not yours to love.
[2011/07/27 00:58 ] | Category: None | Comments(0) | Trackbacks(0) | page top
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