I don't understand.
Stable. Unstable. What I want. What I need. What I should do. What I would do. I like him a lot. I love him. I don't want to like him. I don't regret. I regret with all my being. Things I want to say. Things I don't say for whatever reason I choose to go with it. I'm just constantly frustrating myself thinking so much. I'm ok with it. I'm not.

Everything I seem to think of has a contradiction. I hate myself one moment, and the next I'm ok with myself. Things just haven't been going well, mostly my own fault. I don't understand why I do this to myself. My mom still calls me, and I honestly, wish sometimes, that I can stop picking up. It's true. Part of the reason why I do pick up is because I need her. Financially. I don't know. I give in. Sleep it off. I just don't want to snap at anyone. I don't want to push them away, but I do. I just want to scream and cry. Why am I like this?
[2011/08/01 21:31 ] | Category: None | Comments(0) | Trackbacks(0) | page top
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