What is being happy?
I used to think it'd be simply laughing and having a good time. At this point, I'm completely confused. What makes me happy? More importantly, what is happiness? I'm starting to wonder if it is just being satisfied. I don't know what it is anymore. I used to be so sure of everything, at least, I thought I was. I was, and still am, naive to a fault. It could be called ignorance as well. I don't know if being happy is talking to him, if being happy is that he's happy as well, if being happy is just being satisfied in life. I'm not. I'm not that girl that is always trying to be nice and caring. At least, I can't be all the time. I want something to go right in my life for once. I know I haven't been asking God to help me lately. Heck, I think I stopped 2 years ago. I still believe He's there. It's just that I can't keep blindly walking in faith. Even if that is what faith is. I have no faith in myself. I've never felt so alone. I used to think as long as I have my friends and they're happy, problem solved. I'm happy. When was the last time anyone important in my life worried about me? Honestly, it's been too long. I don't feel I've ever felt it. I mostly knew, I wanted it from my parents. I think it's just the little girl in me that's asking, does mom and dad love me? I'm always afraid of asking myself if anyone loves me, because I'm too afraid of the answer being, "no." Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
[2011/11/05 22:00 ] | Category: None | Comments(0) | Trackbacks(0) | page top
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