Countdown.
I don't know if it's for certain, since I really, really, just can't let go, just like that.

Every time I tell someone I'm resolving to let go of everything, some weird twist of fate decides, "HA. THINK TWICE BETCH," and makes something happen that makes me want to stay. I know I'm not needed, but I don't want to lose my role. I love them. I love him. A lot. So much more than he realizes, I'm sure. I don't know why I do the things I do for him. I don't know why I'm still here, but I know I love him...at least...I like him...a lot. I don't mind if he's happy with someone else, as long as he's happy. However, I can't help but feel sad that I can't be that person, y'know? I'm human too. x'DDD I'll smile for the both of them if they continue to be happy. I'm sure they'll be ok, one day. I know it very well, yet I'm not letting go. I haven't. Another year. Really. A whole flipping year. I haven't stopped. At all. It's been a year and a half of this one-sided love. Am I being strong or am I being irritatingly stubborn?

I don't know, but really, these feelings are with pure intentions.
I like you just because you're you.
You can be a jerk at times, but y'know, I know deep down, you're sweet.
I just want you to be happy.
The laughing and snoring peacefully you is the best.
I love even the crying and angry you.
That in its own way, has its own charm.
No matter how much it breaks my heart to hear you cry, I want to be there for you.
I'll try to be stronger if there is ever a next time, I won't cry with you.
I don't want to forget everything, but I always wonder would it be better that way?

I love you, that's why I tell myself I won't let go.
What really scares me, is if you care if I let go or not.
Am I lying to myself saying you would?
I don't know.

How many more days until I stop loving you this way?
I just want to love you as a friend, nothing more.
Why's it so impossible for me..?
[2012/01/01 18:32 ] | Category: None | Comments(0) | Trackbacks(0) | page top
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