The words I can't say.
The more I want to say them.
The more I want to scream them out without a second thought.
However, I'm still somewhat thinking and know better than that.

I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm lost.

What's wrong with me? I know I'm afraid of losing people, but it doesn't mean I should cling onto them. When will this fear disappear? Why, why, why? I know I'm not worthless, but I feel it every day. I need to stop wanting someone to cater to my wants and needs. I need to grow up. This crying needs to stop. I need to stop being so horrible. Scars don't go away though. The pain has never stopped. I've never stopped thinking about it. Why? Why do I let things go the way they do and never speak up? Why do you two never listen when I talk? I can't forget the words my parents have said and the things my mom has done. I can laugh and smile all I want, in the end, I'm a liar. I hate myself, yet I don't. I know I have good points, but why is it all my good points seem to disappear at the sight of all the bad ones? Why do I feel like being myself is never enough? I don't know. I hate this feeling of insignificance. It's suffocating.
[2012/01/29 01:05 ] | Category: None | Comments(0) | Trackbacks(0) | page top
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